


After the Awakening

by turnedherbrain



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Leotilda, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-19 19:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10646382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turnedherbrain/pseuds/turnedherbrain
Summary: What I imagine happens at the start of series 3. This assumes you've watched series 2 :)It's very Leotilda-focussed, but there are also lots of strong female characters in there.





	1. Hiding Out

He awoke to a searing pain in the side of his neck. His hand crept involuntarily to the source of the pain, to find that it was touching gauze material and that the pain intensified when he moved.

He couldn’t see right. It felt like he was swimming through murky water, all of the shapes indistinct and merging one into another. 

His mouth formed the word ‘Help’… At least, that was what he thought he was trying to say. There was so much he couldn’t remember. Including words. Including who he was, where he was, why he was in pain.

A hand reached out to take his. It felt soft and calming. Words reached him, but the face was blurred: ‘It’s OK Leo. We’re trying to help you. You’re safe. ’

Leo – that was his name – lapsed into a semi-conscious state again. Time passed in bursts of light and shade. Day and night, night and day. He just wanted the pain to stop.

* * *

When he next surfaced, it was to the murmur of voices outside the room. At first, indistinct, until he listened harder and could tune in to their conversation. 

‘… it could be weeks … months.’

‘We have to hope.’

‘Hope! For what, Mia? He’s not there anymore. The Leo we knew… he’s gone. You have to face that.’

‘I won’t. I can’t believe that. He’s in there somewhere, trying to revive.’

‘So, that’s it? You’re going to hide out here? Ignore what’s going on in the world? Ignore the awakening? They need us.’ The last three words were spoken with extra emphasis.

‘He’s my son. I can’t abandon him…’

‘David built you to have a maternal instinct. You are more than that.’

‘… and he’s your brother.’

‘Do you think I’m not torn? Leo. Astrid. All of them out there – our brothers and sisters. We could build an army, fight the aggressors who wish to stop our race.’

‘If you fight, you become the aggressor. You become no better than them.’

‘So we’re meant to lie down meekly? To succumb while they laser pulse us all back into non-existence?’

‘You don’t understand. I owe humans my life. I was built by human hands.’

‘I too was built by human hands. And those hands did nothing but use me in the worst possible way. Astrid has helped me to see…’

‘How does Astrid feel? About you fighting her own race?’

‘She knows me. She knows that it’s best to let me fight. I’ll go back to her.’

‘With how much human blood on your hands? Fighting will bring us nothing but misery.’

‘Then we live like Max?’ Fake incredulity now. ‘In some hippy utopia, believing everything will turn out OK?’

‘There is very little goodwill towards us from humans. If Laura hadn’t hidden us, if Mattie hadn’t reactivated me, we might already be forced to be submissives.’

‘And what impulse drives them to help us? Mattie’s ridiculous teenage infatuation. Laura’s crusade against the rest of the world. Even her husband has abandoned her.’

‘Joe is easily swayed – and afraid.’

‘He should be afraid. The awakening has created thousands of us. Sentient, learning, questing beings with the will to survive. If you were human, wouldn’t you be afraid?’

‘I’m sorry Niska. We can’t agree. If you want to leave… Mattie and I will stay and care for Leo.’

He heard a distinct snort from the other side of the wall, then footsteps receding. Immediately afterwards, he sensed a shaft of light forcing itself onto his vision. The same soft hand reached out to hold his.

‘It’s me Leo. I’m here to look after you. We’ll find a way to make you better. I promise.’

Leo tried to speak, but his tongue wouldn’t work. Instead, he held onto Mia’s hand, stronger now, willing her to understand. He WAS there. At the very least, some part of him had survived.

* * *

Mattie looked out through the gauze curtain onto the grey alleyway below. Her mother was behaving like some kind of secret agent nowadays, finding them this ‘safe house’ as she’d called it. The army had been strobing the nearby neighbourhood – the laser pulse tech provided by Qualia, in return for government silence about the seraphim, no doubt.

No strobes had pulsed in this neighbourhood recently. The majority of the housing was boarded or bricked up, the remaining tenants unlikely to care if they were harbouring stray synths in their midst. They had their own problems and preoccupations, like basic survival.

Mattie was waiting for a message. She’d been waiting for days now, hoping that she’d made the right appeal. The message had been simple: ‘If you love someone, you don’t want them to die. You want to hold on to them. You’ll do anything.’

She hoped that the intended recipient would be moved by the emotional appeal. They had experienced greater suffering.

Mattie felt enormous guilt for what she had done in kick-starting the awakening. Mia had reassured her that her decision was the right one in the circumstances. Niska had eyed her warily, a slight twitch of her mouth betraying the effort it had taken her not to say anything. 

Instead of endlessly waiting for a reply, Mattie decided to go and see Leo. She was always shaken when she saw him look at her blankly, but he tried to arrange his expression into something approximating a smile whenever he encountered her. Even if he didn’t know her, he was trying to show gratitude. 

Mattie hoped like Mia that Leo’s memories would return, even though a lot of the digitised versions were seemingly irredeemable. However, she was resourceful enough to have a plan B, and the longed-for reply to her message was the key to her plan. She heard the whir of her laptop’s fan that night, and hoped that the zeroes and ones coursing down the cable would form themselves into some kind of response.

* * *

The following morning, Mattie came downstairs to find the kitchen neat and warm, and Mia busying herself at the sink. 

‘Tea, Mattie?’ Mia asked, reaching into a cupboard and pulling out a mug. 

‘You don’t have to wait on me,’ smiled Mattie, taking the mug from Mia’s outstretched hand and turning to switch on the kettle. 

‘Old habits die hard,’ replied Mia gently. 

‘How is he today?’

‘Much the same. He held my hand harder, I think.’

‘I felt that too. There’s hope.’

‘Niska’s gone.’

‘I thought as much. I hope I didn’t make her feel uncomfortable?’

‘It wasn’t that. She’s always been a fighter. If someone didn’t let her do something, she’d always challenge it.’

‘Mum would say that describes me fairly accurately,’ remarked Mattie. ‘What will happen if she meets a patrol?’

‘Niska’s used to lying low, hiding out. She’ll make it through.’

‘Have you heard from Max?’

‘He’s on his way. He didn’t want to leave the community, but he wants to see Leo. They have always been the closest siblings. Max feels guilty. He feels that he shouldn’t have left Leo with Hester. He knew how manipulative she could be.’

‘It’s not Max’s fault,’ countered Mattie. ‘I saw what she was like too; where she was leading Leo. And I couldn’t get him to see her true nature.’

Mia and Mattie were interrupted by the distinct thud of the door knocker. Mattie almost dropped her mug of tea, she was so startled at the sound. 

‘Who..?’ Mattie glanced cautiously out of the window, motioning for Mia to stay back. Two uniformed army grunts were standing on the pavement outside. 

‘Don’t move,’ she whispered to Mia. ‘It’s the synth squad.’ Mia took her completely at her word, standing stock-still and unblinking.

The door knocker thudded again.

‘Open up, please!’ called a female voice from outside. ‘We’re doing a door-to-door device registration.’ With a resigned note, the person added: ‘We’ll ignore anything else.’

Mia glanced sideways at Mattie.

‘Stay – still – ' said Mattie through gritted teeth. She was thinking frantically. 

‘We know there’s someone at home,’ called the voice from outside. ‘We just want to check all electronic devices. We can either do this now, or we can come back later with more force.’ The woman sounded like she’d had to persuade herself into a number of households in this way.

Mia took Mattie’s arm. ‘I’ll hide him.’

‘And yourself!’ begged Mattie. ‘I don’t know if they’ve got strobes.’

‘We’ll have to take our chances.’

Mattie was glad of Mia’s minimal, gliding movements, as she made her way silently upstairs. She quickly tipped her head into the sink, wetting her hair and wrapping it up into a turban with a stray towel hanging on the clothes horse. She walked slowly to the front door, opening it cautiously, her face already curling into a ready-made sneer. Her expression wasn’t much of an act. The army were carrying out government orders, agents of the state, and Mattie had no sympathy for what they were trying to do.

‘What.’ She eyed the young uniforms with open intolerance. ‘You got me out the shower.’

‘We need to check all of your electronic devices are registered,’ said the female soldier, unapologetic. Mattie peered at her badge: “Lisa Jordan, XIII Regiment”. They were similar in age.

‘Better come in then.’

‘Bit nicer than most of the houses round here,’ commented the male officer, cheeks looking like he’d only just started shaving.

‘It’s home.’ Mattie kept her utterances short, knowing the more she spoke, the harder it would be to mimic the local accent. ‘In here.’ She waved them into the lounge.

‘Is this all you’ve got?’ said Lisa, as Mattie handed over her phone and her laptop. The male officer took what was handed to him, and with a speed borne of practice noted the manufacturer’s registration number on the laptop. He took the SIM card out of her phone, jotting down the code.

‘Do you mind if I look around?’ asked Lisa.

‘Take a look. I’ve nothing to hide. Hope you get rid of the synth scum,’ snarled Mattie.

Lisa nodded blankly. She’d heard this sentiment many times before. Her boots sounded loudly on the uncarpeted stairs and the floorboards upstairs creaked in an instant giveaway of the recce she was making.

Mattie held her breath, inwardly terrified, outwardly unconcerned. 

‘Thanks,’ said the boy/officer, handing Mattie back her devices. ‘Is your TV wifi-enabled?’

‘I don’t have a TV,’ she shrugged.

‘OK.’ There was an awkward pause. ‘Sorry to have disturbed your shower.’

‘’s alright.’

‘I was in the land reserves before. Non-combat role,’ commented the soldier. ‘This is our tenth house call this morning. And you’ve been the most welcoming.’

Mattie broke into a grin, which the young soldier thought was at his weak joke, but she was grinning in relief at Lisa’s reappearance. 

‘We’ll leave you to get on with your day,’ said Lisa, handing over a leaflet to Mattie. ‘We’re giving these out at every house.’

Mattie glanced down. “WHAT TO DO IN AN EMERGENCY” proclaimed lettering on the cover in bold, block capitals, alongside a picture of a humanoid form with aqua-green eyes. “HM Government” and its portcullis were stamped onto the bottom corner. 

‘How d’you feel, being in the synth squad?’ asked Mattie. She couldn’t help herself.

‘We’re doing important work. Keeping citizens safe,’ intoned Lisa, evidently well-schooled in the army PR blurb. The young male officer looked down and blushed, but didn’t respond. Mattie thought: ‘There’s hope yet.’

She showed them out of the front door then sagged against it, breathing out loudly. Taking the stairs two at a time, she toured through the few upstairs rooms, whispering urgently: ‘Mia? Mia!’

She found them in the airing cupboard, crouched behind a big pile of towels. Mia had created a neat cocoon. Leo looked out at Mattie, attempting a word: ‘Tha… tha…’

‘Thank you?’

‘Tha,’ he repeated, frowning.

‘Thank Mia. She’s just saved both of you,’ remarked Mattie, helping them both out of their cubbyhole. ‘How on earth did you get in here so quickly?’ she asked Mia admiringly.

‘The hardest part was getting Leo to come quietly and curl up,’ replied Mia simply, as they both bent to help Leo out. ‘Be careful. He’s still very weak.’

At that exact moment, Leo collapsed in between them, unable to stand.

‘Let’s get him back to bed,’ said Mattie to Mia and, flanked by both of them, they half-dragged, half-carried Leo back to his bedroom.

‘Tha… tha…’ said Leo urgently.

‘Is he still thanking us?’ asked Mattie, bemused. ‘Or maybe he’s trying to say something else, like: ‘That was close.’’ She saw a wrinkle of concern pass over Mia’s smooth forehead and immediately felt like her flippancy was misplaced.

‘Rest now,’ said Mia to Leo, stroking his hair until his eyelids drooped. 

Mattie wished she was that close to Leo. But she was trying to help him – in her own way. She didn’t know it yet, but her message had reached and been read by its intended recipient.


	2. Ready to Download

Mattie immediately switched the SIM card in her phone, then spent most of the afternoon tinkering with her laptop’s security and circuit boards. She’d done this so many times now, she doubted that any of the machine’s components were original. She also installed a home-made security update on Mia, who was now powered down in a corner of the kitchen, head bent, body still.

She heard a faint moan from upstairs, so ventured to see if Leo needed anything. She found him on the side of his bed, trying to get up and half-collapsing with the effort. Getting him to go back to bed was harder, as he resisted and gaped at her, mouth trying to form words. 

‘Give it time, Leo,’ she said firmly, thinking that Mia was a far more assured carer. She always knew exactly what to say and do. Mattie perched awkwardly on the bed, trying to stroke Leo’s hair in the same way that she’d seen Mia do. A thin hand reached up to take hers away.

‘Too much?’ she asked him.

‘Tha- tha- tha…’ replied Leo, holding her wrist tightly, eyes searching hers and clearly frustrated that he couldn’t communicate. They’d tried giving him a pen and paper, but all he’d produced so far were some strange doodles, like an alien child.

Leaving Leo to subside into sleep, she wondered again whether they’d done the right thing. A regular hospital was out of the question of course, and she didn’t trust headcrackers not to sell them out to the highest bidder. Mia had argued that Mattie was the best person to ‘get him back’. Although now, Mattie had made little headway and had begun to doubt that assumption. She was good, but not David Elster good. 

The hybrid network that Elster had built was so complex, relied on so many bespoke components, Mattie doubted that she could re-engineer it, even if she had all the tech at her disposal. The programming was the easier part. It was weird, tinkering with Leo like this, with the machine part of him. It felt – wrong somehow. Trust her to fall for a bloody cyborg.

* * *

Late that evening, Max arrived, sneaking in through the back gate and tapping lightly on the window as they’d arranged. His broad smile hadn’t dislodged from his face, and he enveloped both Mia and Mattie in a perfectly-pitched hug. 

Max’s arrival felt like a metaphorical sun was shining. Mattie hadn’t realised how tired she’d got with the tentative care and rehabilitation of Leo. She was happy to sit back and relax for a change, as Max leaned forward over the kitchen table and updated them on the community, and of his journey to them. Max made light of it, but Mattie had seen enough of the current news on her laptop, to know that what he’d done in coming to see them was dangerous.

The compulsory registrations, door-to-door searches: that was only a small part of it. The synths – the ones that hadn’t already been turned in – were being slowly but surely strobed out of existence by roaming patrols. Qualia – for it was Qualia, hiding behind the cloak of government – had given it their all. Message boards on the forums she frequented were crowded with clandestine images of humanoid figures being dumped or melted back into non-existence, any valuable tech removed for recycling. The headcrackers had become like Victorian graverobbers, hunting the rubbish tips for any semi-intact synths. 

Max told them that the community was on the move: ‘We’ve kept it small – for safety. The new ones need to be taught. They are like children in a grown-up world. Their systems function, they are awakened, but they haven’t had the months – years even – to understand how to behave.’ Max turned to address Mia directly: ‘We were lucky – although we didn’t know it. We had time to grow, time to learn. We had a family.’

‘ **Have** a family,’ corrected Mia, reaching out and covering Max’s hand with her own. 

‘How is Leo?’ asked Max suddenly. They all knew that was why he’d really come.

‘He’s trying,’ said Mia.

‘In more ways than one,’ added Mattie. Max gave her another one of his broad smiles, brokering an instant alliance. 

‘Then there’s hope. I know that you are doing all you can. If we can get Leo back, that would be…’ Max lapsed into silence, then asked: ‘Can I go up to see him?’

‘Of course,’ said Mia. As Max rose to go, she added: ‘Max. He might not know you.’

‘I understand,’ said Max simply.

They heard a low murmuring from upstairs. Both Mia and Mattie tried to busy themselves and resist the urge to try and eavesdrop. After 10 minutes, Max came back down, the smile still not gone from his face.

‘He knows me,’ he said joyfully. 

‘How could you tell?’ asked Mia, gladdened but incredulous. Mattie tried not to feel jealous, just feel happy at this mini-breakthrough.

‘He said my name,’ continued Max.

‘Are you sure?’ probed Mattie. ‘I mean, he’s spoken – utterances – but nothing like a name.’

‘Yes Mattie. He said my name. He called me Maxie.’

‘Ohh,’ exhaled Mia and took Max’s hands in hers, unintentionally making Mattie feel excluded from their mutual excitement

‘He said it, Mia. Over and over. It was like he was using my name to try and communicate with me – much, much more than he was able to say. I believe he’s still in there.’

‘So do I, Max! I’m so glad you’re here,’ replied Mia, visibly overjoyed.

‘I’ll stay – if it helps?’ Max suggested, turning to include Mattie in his gaze. Mattie nodded in agreement. ‘Only for a few days – a week at the most,’ continued Max. ‘The others need me too.’

Mattie wondered when Max had grown from being the baby of the family, to this gentle leader. All she knew was that she would follow him. What Max was trying to achieve would have longer-lasting, more beneficial effects than Niska’s fight ever would.

Having Max in the house had the additional, unexpected benefit of real companionship. It wasn’t that Mia was unfriendly – far from it, she was kind and helpful – but Mattie could confide in Max. It felt like having a brother again, and it made her miss her own family and friends. 

* * *

Over her umpteenth cup of tea the next day, Max came to see what she was up to on her laptop. 

‘Any luck so far?’ he asked mildly.

‘With what?’ replied Mattie, with the giveaway guilt of an exam-room cheat. 

Max chuckled genially: ‘With the communications.’

‘I don’t know what you mean…’ started Mattie. 

‘Can I recommend another route?’ suggested Max.

‘Yes,’ said Mattie, intrigued. ‘Mia doesn’t…’

‘Of course Mia doesn’t know. I’m not surprised you have kept this from her. It’s a great risk. If you’re discovered…’

‘I know, Max. The end. Zilch. Nada. That’s if it even works in the first place. But I’ve got to do something. I’ve exhausted all the possibilities that I know of.’

‘Are you prepared to do this – for him?’

‘Yes,’ said Mattie emphatically. ‘I feel responsible – for everything that happened.’

‘As do I,’ chimed in Max. ‘I will help you.’

‘How?’

‘Let me explain.’

* * *

Half an hour later, Max sat hunched over a crossword puzzle. The pen in his hand was moving smoothly, but he wasn’t looking at the page. Letting the pen go, he looked down. Mattie pulled the connection as he’d instructed.

‘ARE

Y  
O  
U  
ALONE,’ she read, leaning over his shoulder and scanning the letters he’d inserted in the crossword boxes.

‘I think we established a secure connection,’ said Max. ‘Re-connect me.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Completely sure.’

Mattie re-plugged Max into the network. ‘Ready to download,’ she whispered, unsure what was going to happen next, but hoping that the risk was worth it. Max went still for a couple of seconds. Mattie’s heart was in her mouth. Then slowly, steadily, he raised his head and blinked once.

‘Dr Morrow?’ Mattie typed.

‘Matilda,’ said Max, functioning as a mouthpiece for the encrypted data coming down the line.

‘Is the connection secure?’

‘Yes. What do you want to know?’

‘How to make Leo Elster himself again.’

‘I’m not sure that can be done. I tried – with someone close to me. I thought it was possible. Whatever you do, the ‘him’ you resurrect won’t really be him anymore. Corruptions in the data, botched connections: the possibilities are too numerous.’

‘But it IS possible.’

‘I nearly did it. At least, I tried, again and again. In the end, I let the consciousness go free.’ Max gave a heavy outtake of breath that Mattie swore was almost like a sigh.

‘Can you share your findings?’

‘Give me one reason why I should give up my life’s work to a stranger?’

‘An academic interest? A mutual mistrust of Qualia? As you said, the possibilities are numerous,’ typed Mattie, aggressively punching the keys. Max was silent for a moment and Mattie feared that the connection had been deliberately cut. ‘I’m sorry,’ she typed. ‘I’m desperate. I’ll do anything to get him back.’

‘I know how that feels,’ smiled Max. Then he turned serious. ‘My Qualia account. I cloned it. Best to hide in the place that most humans wouldn’t expect to look. In the goddamn midst of the stronghold.’

Mattie laughed out loud at the irony, then realised that Dr Morrow couldn’t see her reaction. ‘A perfect hiding place,’ she typed. 

‘For now,’ intoned Max. ‘I’ll send you what I can via my account. In return – once he’s well… if he makes it – I’d like you to bring him to me, any way you can.’

‘For what? He’s not a laboratory specimen!’

‘The world’s first fully-functioning cyborg is of tremendous scientific interest,’ pronounced Max.

Mattie was wondering if she was about to make a Mephistophelean pact. ‘Tomorrow. I’ll let you know tomorrow.’ Then she unplugged Max.

‘What did she say?’ he asked immediately.

‘She said that she would help us – for a price,’ grimaced Mattie, swiftly relating the gist of her exchange with Morrow. ‘We need to think this through. Although realistically, Athena Morrow may be our only hope in the world right now. I’d like you to explain how the hell you knew exactly where to find her though.’

Max smiled secretly, and responded: ‘She’s been observing us for quite some time Mattie. She knew exactly how to contact you, and how to use me as a conduit. She is a wise woman.’

‘Wise – yes. But I worry that the scientist in her wins out over the human.’ She saw Max was looking at her expectantly, like she had all the answers.

‘Leo would want us to help ourselves above saving him. He was always like that.’

‘I vote we do the exact opposite,’ grinned Mattie.

‘Me too,’ said Max. ‘I’m programmed to protect him. And you?’

Mattie decided to avoid the question.


	3. A Restorative Elixir

Mattie had spent the night mulling over the options. There were a range of outcomes, from Leo in a permanent vegetative state; a fully-functioning Leo with a partial personality; or all of him somehow miraculously restored.

Max was in no doubt. ‘We have to try. If we don’t? We will always wonder.’

‘But Max – what if he comes back… different?’ worried Mattie.

‘Such as Leo’s body, but with an entirely different personality?’ Mattie thought about Leo’s grumpy, impulsive former self and visibly brightened at the thought. The smile that escaped her wasn’t missed by Max. ‘A not unpleasant thought?’ he teased.

‘Possibly,’ she said. ‘But the reason we all love him is because he’s, well, Leo. If we don’t get that Leo back, what do we have?’

‘I have considered the many outcomes, and statistically, he is unlikely to return fully himself.’

‘Hmmm. Thanks for the chorus of disapproval Max. Sometimes you’re so…’

‘Synthetic?’ responded Max playfully.

Mattie laughed. ‘I was going to say ‘logical’.’

‘The pure synthetic in me tells me that this is a highly risky, dangerous course of action. But I have evolved beyond logic. Leo is my brother. I love him. I am prepared to do anything to help.’

* * *

And Max’s help was needed many times over in the next couple of days. Firstly, they received the data from Athena Morrow in encrypted packets, like small pieces of a jigsaw, only without the accompanying picture. The task was then to decipher the files, all the while keeping it secret from Mia. Mattie wasn’t sure which was the harder of the two.  
Fortunately, while Mattie needed some scant hours of sleep, Max was able to continue to break the encryption by running through it manifold times, trying different permutations: the far swifter synth equivalent of the Enigma codebreakers. 

‘I’m seeing how it fits together Mattie,’ he assured her on the second day. 

The final, riskiest part was to upload the data to Leo. 

* * *

‘This is ridiculous,’ said Mattie as she stood by Leo’s bedside. It was the final evening that Max was able to be with them, so it was now or never. She’d fobbed Mia off by asking for a ‘home-cooked meal’, something that Mia was happy to work out how to conjure up with Mattie’s scant food rations. 

Max towered over Mattie, a gentle presence nevertheless. ‘Remember, we have to try,’ he countered.

‘It’s just – I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. I feel like one of those Victorian surgeons – you know, the ones who experimented with anaesthetics? I have no clue what constitutes the correct dose.'

‘Anaesthetics was initially a case of trial and error,’ replied Max, having quickly scanned the history of anaesthesia during Mattie’s last few words.

‘I think, right now? It might be more like ‘error’.’

Mattie looked away as Max inserted the cable into Leo. She felt sick, even when Max’s hand wrapped itself reassuringly around hers. ‘I’m here. If anything goes wrong, we will bear the consequences together.’ Mattie exhaled, then hit ‘Enter’ on her laptop keyboard. The data flowed invisibly down the cable and into Leo. It would either give him life, or lead to him becoming more incoherent and confused.

Nothing happened at first, and Mattie’s forehead crinkled. ‘I’d expected some kind of physical reaction…’ It was then that Leo’s convulsions started, his thin frame arching itself off the bed, then his whole body shaking uncontrollably. ‘Pull it!’ she whispered urgently to Max. He complied immediately, removing the cable from Leo’s port. ‘What the..?’ she exclaimed, terrified.

‘We may have given him more than the recommended dose,’ intoned Max. Mattie wasn’t sure if this was meant ironically. 

‘Max? I need you to establish a connection with Morrow again. Because I don’t want what just happened to be repeated.’

* * *

When she reported Leo’s reaction, Athena Morrow was calmer than she’d expected her to be. Perhaps because for her, the emotional stakes were nowhere near as high.

‘We’ve failed,’ typed Mattie.

‘Ms. Hawkins, you’ve only just begun. It took me years to amass what I sent you. Years of experimentation. Years of failure.’

‘I assumed the data would begin to mend him.’

‘Science is built on such initial hypotheses,’ said Athena. ‘What I tried to achieve was consciousness transference into a synthetic being. Your case… Leo Elster,’ Morrow corrected herself, trying to empathise,’ is attempting the reanimation of digitised memories in a largely organic body.’

‘Tell me something I don’t know,’ typed Mattie sarcastically.

‘Experimentation is a matter of trial and error. Reduce the dose,’ commented Athena through the Max-mouthpiece. 

Max raised his head. ‘Data connection lost. I’m sorry Mattie. I imagine this type of communication is inadvisable for Dr Morrow.’

‘I’d have more sympathy if she didn’t want us to serve up Leo on a plate to her afterwards.’

‘What do we do now?’ asked Max, appealing to her as if she’d know all the answers again.

‘Trial and error Max. Just like the lady said.’

* * *

They vastly reduced the dose of data after that, starting with minuscule packets, like a drip-feed of restorative information. Max kept watch for the whole of the next day, having deferred his departure but insisting that he would need to leave soon. 

By the third day, Mattie felt like a minor miracle had occurred. Leo was still physically unable to move about, but he’d talked in coherent phrases. The only fly in the ointment, as far as Mattie was concerned, was that he didn’t recognise her at all, although he knew the others. Mia and Max repeated her name and established that she was ‘a close friend, trying to help you Leo’ but he wasn’t aware of them having met before, in the recent past. This lack of short-term memory was a huge source of frustration for Leo, as he asked a multitude of times why he was like this, who had injured him. 

On the fifth day, Max felt confident enough to leave Mattie in charge. ‘The others need me. Try to send me news if you can.’ He touched foreheads with Mia and, forgetting normal human protocol, did the same with Mattie. He then disappeared upstairs for a brief goodbye with Leo. Mattie found Leo afterwards, sitting upright in bed, his face wearing a look of hurt and confusion.

‘Why has Max left?’

‘He needs to take care of some other synths.’

‘But Max is my brother. We’re family. Family comes above friends, above anyone.’ Leo’s gradual restoration had the unfortunate side-effect of making him seem like a petulant child.

‘Sometimes… when a friend needs you… you have to help them. Your family will always be there. They understand when you need to help others.’

‘Do your family understand why you’re helping me?’ asked Leo suddenly, as if that thought had just dawned on him. 

‘Yes. At least, some of them do. It’s my choice anyway.’

‘And you made the choice to leave your family, and help me?’

‘Yes,’ said Mattie, in a truly heartfelt way.

‘Why?’ pressed Leo, still not understanding.

‘Because… because I felt responsible, I guess. I felt like, when you were injured, it was partly my fault.’

‘But it wasn’t. It was Hester. Mia told me all about it,’ replied Leo, with the assurance of a child who’s been told a scary story in a simplified way.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Mattie, losing her patience. ‘The fact is, I’m here to help. So you just have to accept that.’

‘Thank you,’ said Leo, smiling.

‘For what?’

‘For helping.’

‘No problem.’


	4. Waking Up

Leo’s recovery was much more rapid after that, like he’d crested a mountain and was now skidding and sliding downwards, back towards civilization. His personality seemed intact, something which Mattie still couldn’t decide whether to be truly thankful for. As his bodily strength returned too, Mattie could sense his simmering frustration at being house-bound. She could see him breaking out any day now and demanding to join Niska, or Max.

Mattie and Mia had whispered conversations about this very predicament. 

‘What’s the point in him having recovered, if he’s going to get himself killed on some ridiculous one-man mission?’ hissed Mattie.

‘We can’t keep him here Mattie,’ chided Mia softly. ‘Is that not part of what it means to be human? Having free will, deciding on your own course of action?’

‘Not when that course of action is reckless and misjudged,’ argued Mattie. ‘I almost lost him once to Hester – I won’t lose him again.’

‘I understand Mattie. I don’t want to lose him either. I would give up my life so that he could live. But we need to consider what all of us should do next. Will you go with him, if he goes?’ Her eyes searched Mattie’s. 

Mattie didn’t reply, but instead asked: ‘Will you?’

Neither of them spoke. Eventually, Mattie turned away from Mia’s gaze and looked out the window. Yet again, she was having to consider a limited range of dangerous options. 

* * *

Leo came to find her that afternoon, knocking softly at her bedroom door and perching on the end of her bed. Mattie turned from watching the news on her laptop, slamming down the screen before he could see the latest horrors. 

‘It’s OK, Mattie, I know,’ he said, gesturing at the gap the screen had just occupied. ‘That’s why I need to leave. I can’t stay here and stand by while that’s happening.’

‘No, you don’t need to go!’ appealed Mattie, coming to sit next to him on the bed. ‘Please, don’t. I don’t want you to.’ 

‘I know that too,’ replied Leo, glancing at his feet and scrunching up his toes. ‘I’ve never asked you – what you liked about me? I mean – before.’

‘Your passion, I guess. Your conviction. You love your family. You were prepared to do anything to preserve that.’

‘But I had… have… my faults.’

‘Oh yes,’ said Mattie, not meaning to put so much emphasis on the phrase. Recovering herself, she continued: ‘I mean, we all do… to be human is to have faults.’

‘And what were my worst faults?’ enquired Leo, smiling.

‘Wow…’ exhaled Mattie. ‘You really want me to tell you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Well then. You were grumpy, emotionally guarded, heedless and stubborn.’

‘Ouch,’ grinned Leo. ‘Good to have them listed out for me.’

‘You asked for it!’

‘I did.’

They lapsed into silence for a minute. Mattie was aware of their thighs lightly touching and of the warmth of the contact. ‘You were very lonely,’ she added, eventually. ‘I think you needed someone to talk to… to open up to.’

‘And that someone was you?’ Leo looked at her quizzically.

‘Me? You showed me some memories. But that was more to prove who you were – so I would help you.’

‘Why are you helping me now?’ 

‘Haven’t you already asked me that?’

‘Yes. But I felt like the answer you gave me wasn’t the full truth.’ Leo looked away, then down at the floor again. ‘What were we… to each other… before? I’ve asked Mia. She just gives me evasive answers. Were we..?’ he tailed off.

‘Were we what?’ repeated Mattie, pretending she had just realised his meaning. ‘Oh, no Leo. You’ve got the wrong end of the stick. We were just… friends. Whereas you and Hester…’ The words escaped her mouth before she’d had time to consider the consequences.

‘Me and Hester?’ gasped Leo. ‘The synth who did this to me?’ His hand reached up to clutch the side of his neck. ‘What the hell… what the hell did I do? To go from that – to her wanting to kill me?’

‘Nothing, Leo! Nothing,’ implored Mattie. ‘By the time she’d reached you, she’d been moulded by her previous experience. In human terms, she was a sociopath. You did absolutely nothing to make her do what she did.’

‘I doubt that. If you won’t tell me the truth, I’ll ask Mia to.’ Leo stumbled from the room and she heard his quick footsteps going downstairs. She didn’t know if Mia would tell him what had happened at the silo, but if she did? That would be one more thing that pushed him out the door.

* * *

A couple more days passed. Mattie and Leo managed to dodge each other as much as possible, even in their small household. They were both aware of the enormous elephant in the room though. 

On the second evening, Leo came to stand by her as she was doing the washing up, looking out at the sun disappearing behind the crowded rooftops. He lifted a kitchen towel and began to dry up. She could feel him glancing at her and her skin tingled. 

‘I’m sorry,’ he said eventually. ‘This must be a huge sacrifice for you. You’re here, away from your family and friends. You’ve helped me get well again. You must think I’m ungrateful.’

‘I don’t,’ said Mattie, letting her hands fall into the warm, soapy water. Then she had a thought: ‘Did Mia put you up to this?’

‘To what?’

‘To saying sorry. The old Leo would have found that nigh on impossible.’

‘No, she didn’t. I’m a big enough grown-up to do that for myself,’ mocked Leo.

‘I’m sorry too.’

‘For what?’

‘For being such an idiot. For ever thinking you’d want to stay with us… with me,’ she faltered.

‘Come with me,’ urged Leo.

‘I won’t come with you, just to watch you die.’

‘I’ll keep us both safe.’

‘That didn’t work out so well the last time,’ blurted Mattie. 

Leo looked down at the dishcloth in his hands. ‘I’ve grown up a bit since then.’

‘Me too,’ Mattie dared to look at him now. ‘Ugh. Why is this so hard! Why can’t I just…’

‘Just what?’

‘Just say and do what I want.’

Leo looked at her intently. ‘There’s nothing stopping you Mattie.’

Just then, they heard a loud thud against the back door of the house. ‘Mattie! Mia!’ someone gasped loudly.

‘Mum!’ whispered Mattie and, side-stepping Leo, she ran to open the door, afraid of what might lie on the other side.


	5. News from the World Outside

Laura had parked her car at an angle in the alleyway, the engine still running. She grabbed Mattie by the arm when she saw her, looking distraught. ‘We have to get her inside,’ she said breathlessly. ‘Are you strong enough to help?’ This was directed at Leo, who had joined Mattie in the doorway. Together, they rushed round to the passenger seat of Laura’s car. 

‘Niska!’ exclaimed Leo, leaning in to grab the prone figure in the car. 

‘Careful,’ warned Laura. ‘I don’t know how much fluid she’s lost, and I didn’t have enough patches to repair her wounds.’

Leo carried Niska from the car. She had a blue gash on her face that was weeping fluid. Her top was sodden with fluid too. One of her eyes was open and unblinking, the other fluttered open and closed. 

‘Mattie, can you run a diagnostic while I prep some fluid?’ shouted Leo, running into the kitchen after he’d laid Niska carefully on the lounge couch.

Mia came down from upstairs, wondering at all the commotion. ‘Laura! What’s wrong?’

‘It’s Niska. She’s injured. You were the closest safe house. I’m sorry if bringing her here has compromised this place.’ The words tumbled out of Laura’s mouth. She looked ashen and in shock.

‘Don’t worry Laura, everything’s in hand,’ said Mia in a soothing tone. She had already assessed the situation and saw that Leo and Mattie had it under control. ‘I’ll bring more patches. Laura, go to the kitchen and wait. When we’re finished here, I’ll make you a cup of tea.’

Laura nodded and walked off in a trance.

Mattie’s diagnostic showed that Niska was in a critical condition. ‘We need to get more fluid in her – and now,’ she said to Leo warningly. 

‘Ready,’ said Leo, carrying the replacement fluid. ‘Mia, any more repairs to make?’

Mia had swiftly done a body scan. ‘There’s a wider incision across her abdomen that can’t be patched.’ She lifted Niska’s top to show them. 

‘We need more skin, and not just patches,’ said Leo. ‘Anywhere round here that might have decent supplies?’

‘Headcrackers,’ answered Mattie. ‘I’ll go.’ She left before Leo insisted that he should take her place. He had a chequered history when dealing with headcrackers, whereas she could put on the pathetic girl act and get the transaction done much quicker.

Half an hour later, she returned with more fake ‘skin’ that looked like bandage rolls. 

‘Good work Mattie,’ said Leo admiringly, patting her on the shoulder. ‘Please don’t tell me what story you had to weave to get this.’ Mattie couldn’t decide whether to feel proud at the compliment, or insulted at his unmeant condescension.

Mia applied the skin bandages expertly, murmuring to Niska all the while. Mattie, returning to her laptop screen, beckoned Leo over: ‘It’s holding.’

‘We may need to keep topping up the fluid,’ he said, squinting at the screen. ‘We make a good team, Mattie!’ he continued, turning to congratulate her. Mattie couldn’t help but smile then. Mia glanced at Mattie and Leo standing together, then turned back to Niska before they could catch her smiling too. 

‘I’ll go and make Laura that cup of tea now,’ she announced, having made sure that Niska was comfortable.

‘Mum!’ exclaimed Mattie, having completely forgotten about Laura in the midst of the emergency. ‘I’ll move her car out of sight and come back to see her.’

‘Leo, can you stay with Niska?’ asked Mia.

‘Of course,’ said Leo with conviction. Mia took hold of his arm lightly and they bent to touch foreheads, a gesture of love and kinship. Mattie once again felt like the outsider, until Leo turned to tease her: ‘Mattie to the rescue – again. How many more members of the Elster family do you need to save, before you’ve got the full pack?!’

Mattie left the room before he could see her blush. Leo didn’t yet know about the hard bargain that she’d had to strike, in order to save him, but the knowledge of it was weighing heavily on her. 

Once her mum’s car was stowed away, Mattie re-entered the house and went to find Mia and Laura in the kitchen. Mia was holding onto Laura’s left hand; Laura’s right hand was shaking visibly.

‘Mum,’ said Mattie, rushing to hug her tight. ‘I’m sorry I left you. Are you alright? What happened to Niska?’

‘I was just telling Mia,’ said Laura, motioning for Mattie to sit down next to her. Mattie, full of concern, took hold of her mum’s other hand to calm the shaking. 

‘It was a rout,’ related Laura. ‘I’d had word of a group of synths that needed rescuing – ‘re-homing’.’ Laura used that common phrase with distaste; it was like the synths were stray dogs. ‘Niska must have intercepted the same message. It was a fake appeal: the humans just wanted to capture and smash some synths, so they laid a trap. And we walked right into it. I’m sorry,’ Laura continued, turning to face Mia. ‘I shouldn’t have brought her here. If they discover you…’

‘You mustn’t worry Laura,’ reassured Mia. ‘You did the best thing in the circumstances. This way, Niska gets to be with her family.’

‘Who were they, mum?’ questioned Mattie.

‘I don’t know,’ sighed Laura, looking very tired. ‘Humans Against Synths, possibly? There are so many groups claiming responsibility for all manner of attacks. It’s hard to keep track.’

‘How on earth did you get away? Get Niska away?’

Laura shifted uncomfortably: ‘I pretended to be one of them. I… I helped them smash this poor, helpless synth. Oh, Mia, I’m so ashamed!’ She looked up, tears welling in her eyes. ‘I saw Niska double over and fall. I managed to stash her out of sight, then went back to collect her once it was over.’

‘You showed great ingenuity Laura,’ said Mia calmly. ‘You need to get some rest now.’

Laura nodded distractedly.

‘I’ll show you my room,’ said Mattie, helping her mum to her feet and guiding her upstairs. ‘You can rest there.’

* * *

Mattie went up to see her mum once Laura had chance to have a nap in Mattie’s bed. On her way, she glanced in at Leo, who was sat unmoving by Niska, covering her still hand with his own. Mattie envied this synth part of him, the part that could concentrate and keep vigil for hours without pause. His closeness to his sister reminded her again of how much she’d missed her mum – her whole family. 

Peering round the door of her bedroom, she found her mum sitting up in her bed, holding on to one of Mattie’s childhood toys. 

‘Mr. Puddles,’ said Laura simply when she saw Mattie and holding out the stuffed teddy bear to her. ‘We got him for you when you were only two years old. You wouldn’t be parted from him.’

‘Still won’t be,’ grinned Mattie, holding out a strong cup of tea in return. ‘Another brew?’

‘Thanks.’

Mattie sat on the end of the bed and looked at her mum. Laura looked tired and much older than when Mattie had last seen her, even though that was only a couple of months previously. ‘How are you doing, mum?’

‘OK, I suppose,’ replied Laura, sounding like she was trying to convince herself it was true. 

‘How’s the work?’

‘Hard,’ grimaced Laura. ‘D’ you remember the lady who took her synth to the theatre? I visited her, and your dad thought I was sneaking off to have an affair?’

‘Yes,’ smiled Mattie.

‘Well, she wants me to take her case again. She’s now trying to establish a precedent through the courts. She’s hidden her synth and won’t reveal where – says he’s like a son to her and she’ll defend his right to live. She’s become a bit of a martyr for the cause. Twinset and pearls lady in her 50s, never dreamt she might get a criminal conviction.’

‘What are they trying her for?’

‘A number of things: absconding with the minor is one of them, if you can believe it.’

‘A minor? How?’

‘The Crown prosecution have argued that it’s the age of the machine that constitutes its legal age.’

‘That’s ridiculous!’ exclaimed Mattie, horrified. ‘If that’s true, then the vast majority of the synths doing adult jobs all this time have been mere babies… toddlers!’

‘I know, I know,’ said Laura resignedly. ‘The law is an ass. The fact is: law is based to a large extent on precedent. And what’s happening now is unprecedented. I just can’t believe that people like her are being tried, when those synth smashers will get away with less than a caution. It makes a mockery of our legal system.’

‘It’s a human legal system. It wasn’t established to protect synths,’ reflected Mattie bitterly.

‘And that’s why we need to campaign for new laws that establish conscious synths as legally equivalent to humans – Niska saw that. It’s horrendously difficult though; public opinion is against us. But there are pockets of support.’ Laura shrugged and sipped her tea.

‘How’re everyone else? Toby, Soph… dad?’

‘Your dad’s relocated Mattie. He’s taken Soph with him.’ 

‘Where’s he taken her? He has no right…’

‘He has every right, as her father. They’re living in a ‘safe haven’. Housing compounds with a 24-hour armed guard, instructed to strobe any synth on sight. These compounds are springing up all over the place.’

‘Dad’s a fool. That’s not the best place for Soph. It’ll teach her nothing but hate and fear.’

‘I know. But at least I know she’s physically safe. There are only so many fights I can take on and win right now.’

‘And Toby?’

‘Him and Renie are volunteering with the Youth League for Synths. They’re doing all they can. You should join them; the League could use someone with your skills.’

‘Maybe. I’m still needed here,’ said Mattie emphatically. 

‘How’s Leo? He looks much better. How much can he recall?’ asked Laura, prompted to change the subject.

‘Nearly everything, thankfully. Except for his short-term memory.’

‘So he won’t remember me?’

‘No mum.’

‘Does he remember you?’ 

‘No. He’s beginning to know me though.’

‘What about Hester? Or anything that brought this about?’

‘Not that he can recall. But he’s filling in the blanks.’

‘Aside from that – he’s more or less back to himself?’

‘Yes – we’ve got the old Leo back.’

‘Then I don’t understand why you need to stay here. You’d be much better off elsewhere.’

‘Just… because.’

‘Don’t ‘just because’ me. Here’s not a safe place to be, young lady.’

‘The **world’s** not a safe place to be right now.’

‘You don’t owe him anything,’ observed Laura.

‘Maybe not. But I want to help him,’ retorted Mattie.

Laura glanced sideways at her. ‘You know, I’m torn right now… between pride at your tenacity, and wonder at your choice of boyfriend.’

‘He’s not my..!’

‘You don’t need to say anything, missy. I can read your face,’ laughed Laura.

‘Mum!’

‘You can’t choose who you fall in love with, Mats. It’s corny but it’s true. God knows, your father’s given me many sleepless nights, and I’ve stood by him.’

‘And he’s stood by you.’

‘That’s the true test of any relationship – if you can go through the worst of times together and still make it through…’ Laura drained the dregs of her tea and placed the mug on the bedside table. ‘What I really want to know is: how did my super-intelligent daughter reanimate her cyborg boyfriend?’

Mattie pulled a face. ‘I bet that sentence has never been spoken before.’

‘Probably not,’ agreed Laura. They both laughed. ‘But seriously. I’d love to know how you did it. He’s like the proverbial Lazarus!’

‘I had help.’

‘From who..?’

‘You won’t like what I’ve got to tell you,’ said Mattie, who’d been longing to unburden herself of her misgivings ever since Max had left. 

‘After the last few months? I’d say I’m pretty used to hearing strange stories.’

‘OK,’ replied Mattie and, moving to cuddle up close to her mum, she told her all about the pact she’d made with Athena Morrow.


	6. Everything's Going to be OK

The house was now bulging at its meagre seams. Laura had agreed to stay until Niska had sufficiently recovered to move her to another safe house: they’d all agreed that Niska’s notoriety would make their house a likely target. 

Late that evening, Mattie laid on the floor of the room in her sleeping bag, hearing the muffled murmur of Leo and Mia’s voices downstairs as they kept watch over Niska. They didn’t need to sleep; they could just power down for a while. Her mum’s drowsy breathing could be heard from the direction of her bed.

‘Mats?’ whispered Laura in the dark.

‘What?’ whispered Mattie in return.

‘I just want you to know: I’m proud of you.’

‘For what?’

‘For being you. For facing difficult decisions and making the right choices. For standing up for what you believe in.’

‘You too, mum.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Love you.’

‘Love you too. Night night, sleep tight.’

* * *

Downstairs, Leo was also thinking about how proud he was of Mattie. First Mia, then him, now Niska – he wasn’t really joking when he’d said that she was saving them all. Mia, looking up from tending to Niska, could tell exactly what he was thinking.

‘You like her. Much more than you will tell her.’

‘Who?’

‘Who, Leo?’ replied Mia playfully. ‘You and her make a good team.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Why not? You deserve happiness.’

‘Do you think I can make **her** happy though?’

‘I know that you like her, and that she likes you. Why do you think she’s stayed for so long?’

‘She says that she feels guilty – for what happened.’

‘In part, yes. That is one reason why she helps us. But she keeps the other reason hidden.’

Leo and Mia lapsed into silence. When Leo spoke again, he said: ‘She chose to be here. She chose to stay with us – with me.’

‘Exactly, Leo,’ smiled Mia.

They didn’t need to say anything more on the subject after that; Mia knew that she’d led him gently in the right direction.

* * *

The following morning was a bright, sunny day. Mattie hoped that it was a portent of Niska’s recovery. Rushing downstairs, she was heartened to see Niska sitting bolt upright, with only the fluid drip that Leo had set up and the skin patch on her face betraying any trace of her recent injuries. Leo had slept on the floor, and Mattie carefully stepped over his curled up figure as she went to hug Niska on the couch.

‘Ooof! Watch out Mattie,’ complained Niska, partially yielding to her hug. ‘You’ll knock the drip out.’

‘I’m just glad you’ve recovered,’ said Mattie, sitting on the sofa next to her. 

‘I told her all about the crucial part you played,’ said Leo groggily from his sleeping bag, mussed up hair standing on end. ‘Morning Mattie. Do I get a hug too?’

‘You have to injure yourself first,’ retorted Niska, answering for the both of them.

‘Breakfast!’ announced Mattie, bouncing off the couch. 

‘I’m having fluid,’ deadpanned Niska.

‘I’ll come and help you,’ said Leo to Mattie, struggling out of his sleeping bag. 

Niska stopped Leo before he’d left the room: ‘Leo, when?’

‘When what?’ 

‘You and Mattie.’

‘It’s one of the things I love most about you Niska. You’re always direct and to the point. To answer your question: it’s nothing.’

‘Nothing?’ humphed Niska. ‘You can’t fool me.’

‘OK then. It might be something.’

‘You can’t, Leo.’

‘Niska – if you and Astrid can happen, why not me and Mattie?’

‘Because Astrid accepts me for what I am.’

‘And Mattie knows me, and accepts me for what **I** am.’

‘I don’t think you should drag her with you. You should let her go.’

‘Mattie can make that decision for herself,’ replied Leo adamantly, ducking out of the lounge before Niska could reprimand him further. He found Mattie in the kitchen, stirring some porridge in a pan on the stove. 

‘Want some?’ she asked, as he entered the room. ‘There’s plenty.’

‘Mmmm, yes please. I’m starving,’ replied Leo, coming to stand next to her.

Mattie felt very self-conscious all of a sudden. ‘I’m glad Niska’s on the mend.’

‘Thanks to you,’ said Leo warmly.

‘Thanks to all of us.’

‘But mainly you. So… you were saying: you wish you could say and do what you want?’ he suddenly and awkwardly changed the subject.

‘Hmmm?’ Mattie stirred the milk so the porridge didn’t stick.

‘When your mum arrived – you were saying that to me. You didn’t get chance to finish.’

‘Oh. That.’

‘What is it you want to say and do?’

It was a deliberately pointed question. Mattie looked down at the pan and began to concentrate fiercely on stirring the porridge. ‘Leo… you’ve got to know one thing about me. I don’t do mushy stuff.’

‘And I don’t even know what ‘mushy stuff’ means.’

Mattie smiled. Leo being Leo, she couldn’t tell if this was his wry humour, or he really was being serious. ‘I’ve only had one boyfriend. We broke up because he thought I was too headstrong.’

‘I like headstrong. It’s a trait that happens to run in my family,’ replied Leo, moving imperceptibly closer to her. ‘And from what I’ve heard, my last girlfriend was a bit of a psycho, so…’ His fingertips were now reaching out to touch hers, until their fingers were intertwined, then their bodies were touching, then his lips met hers. 

A while later, Leo commented: ‘That porridge is pretty much ruined.’ Mattie looked sideways at the coagulated mush in the pan and laughed. Despite the mess she had made, she felt like everything was going to be as OK as it was ever going to be.

The rest of that morning passed by in a haze. They needed to check on Niska, although Mia kept on shooing them away, saying that she could manage and that she wanted to catch up with her. Laura, waking late, had volunteered to go out and get some black market breakfast. Bacon and eggs were now frying in the pan, the smell tantalising. Mattie and Leo were hyperconscious. Every glance, every slight touch was accompanied by a slight, secret smile. 

‘I’m, ummm, going to check my laptop. For the latest news – there might be something about the synth smashers,’ announced Mattie to everyone after their late breakfast.

‘Do you mind if I take a look too?’ asked Leo, a bit too enthusiastically.

‘I guess,’ said Mattie, deliberately non-committal.

Laura and Mia exchanged glances, finding it hard not to smile. Mattie wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself.


	7. Getting to Know You

Mattie and Leo were lying on her bed, having done absolutely no research whatsoever into the identity of the synth smashers.

‘What are you thinking?’ asked Mattie, leaning on one elbow. 

‘I was just wondering if I liked you this much before,’ smiled Leo. 

‘I don’t know. I wasn’t sure if you even liked me, at times,’ mused Mattie.

‘I’m sure that I liked you,’ replied Leo, ‘even though I can’t remember it.’ He leant over and kissed her deeply. ‘Does that prove how much I like you NOW?’

‘Oh yes…. but I think I might need more proof,’ laughed Mattie. A little while later, she added: ‘Seeing as you can’t really remember me… from before… do you want to play a game? It’s called “getting to know you”. It’s simple – you ask the other person a bunch of questions. We can start out with simple stuff, like ‘what’s your favourite colour’. There’s no hesitation or deviation from the topic allowed.’

‘Ah – I’d hoped it would be more like a general knowledge quiz. I’m really good at those,’ smirked Leo. 

‘You have an unfair advantage though – crystal-clear recall of the facts,’ argued Mattie.

‘True,’ agreed Leo. ‘OK then – go for it. You start.’

‘What’s your favourite colour?’

‘Blue. Yours?’

‘Deep purple.’

‘ **Deep** purple? I had no idea we had to be so specific,’ mocked Leo. ‘In that case, mine’s cerulean blue.’

‘Nice. What’s your favourite food?’

‘Spaghetti. And you?’

‘Umm, pizza, or my mum’s cottage pie. You should ask me a question now.’

‘Favourite sleeping position?’ asked Leo suggestively.

‘Curled up, on my side,’ answered Mattie. ‘You aren’t taking this seriously.’

‘Sorry, sorry. I’ll be very serious from now on. Mine’s curled up too. On my right side.’

‘Do you even need to sleep?’

‘Deviation, surely!’ shouted Leo. ‘I can sleep, or I can charge. I just prefer to sleep. It makes me feel more human. Can I have the next question again?’

‘Yes.’

‘Favourite person.’

‘Living or dead?’

‘Hesitation. Anyone in the world.’

‘That’s hard. I can’t choose.’

‘Your favourite person right now then.’

‘You. That was a leading question!’ objected Mattie, having veered too close to ‘mushy’ territory for her liking. ‘What’s your answer?’

‘You, of course. Very closely followed by MaxMiaNiskaFred,’ said Leo, running their names together. ‘Your turn again.’

‘Favourite film?’

‘Oh, that’s a tough one. What do **you** think it is?’

‘Hesitation! I’m going to go for something dark and dystopian, like Blade Runner.’

‘Because all cyborgs love Blade Runner,’ deadpanned Leo. ‘I watched that when I was eight. It made me cry. Honestly? I prefer classic comedies. I’ve got them all stored in my head, like a mini video library. My favourite comedy is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Have you seen it?’

‘Yes,’ smiled Mattie. ‘The one with the kid – Ferris! – he’s decided to bunk off school for the day…’

‘… and he goes to pick up his girlfriend from school, in disguise, pretending to be her uncle…’ continued Leo.

‘… and then they full-on kiss and his teacher’s totally disgusted at this major display of ‘incest’!!’ completed Mattie. ‘That is such a good choice.’

‘I love that film,’ said Leo. ‘I’ve re-watched it so many times, I’ve lost count. Can I guess your favourite?’

‘Go on,’ said Mattie. ‘You’ll never guess it, not in a million years.’

‘Will I have watched it?’

‘I doubt it.’

‘Is it a ‘Mattie’ kind of film?’

‘Not at all,’ she laughed. ‘It’s Pretty Woman.’

Leo looked genuinely shocked. ‘Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Wait – why?’

‘Deviation, but… I guess I’m a sucker for the whole ‘Cinders to princess’ thing. I am a girl, after all.’

‘I’d noticed,’ said Leo, mock-seriously. Then, the strangest thing happened. He suddenly flopped back down on the bed, closed his eyes, and went quiet for about five seconds. ‘What were we saying?’ he continued, when his eyes opened again. 

‘We were talking about our favourite films. Then you just went kind of blank, like you'd powered down without realising,’ said Mattie, concerned.

‘How long for?’

‘Not long. Long enough for it to be noticeable. Leo, do you want me to run a system check?’

‘I can do that for myself,’ he replied bluntly, his brittle guard back up again. 

‘Leo – is there something you’re not telling me? How often has this happened, since you revived?’

‘A few times,’ he replied, even more closed-up now. 

‘Shit. We have to do something. It could be… it could be a symptom of something developing. Of something worse happening. Why didn’t you say anything?’ said Mattie, really worried now.

‘I just want to enjoy my time with you. Is that too much to ask?’

‘I get it, Leo. It’s just that – well, there may be a range of possibilities here that are making you malfunction, like corruptions in the data, botched connections…’ She was unconsciously recalling Dr Morrow’s previous warnings to her.

‘What on earth are you talking about Mattie? It’s just a virus. It will go away,’ he came closer again and tried to hold her hand.

Mattie looked at him and gently pushed his hand away, turning to face him fully on the bed. She had to do this. It was killing her, but she had to. ‘Leo, I need to tell you something. It’s about how we got you back – to being you. We had help. I hadn’t told you before, because I was just too glad to have you back and because… well, you won’t like me anywhere near as much once you know.’

Leo’s face was serious now. She began to tell him all about Morrow and the promise she’d had to make in return for the data, deliberately downplaying Max’s part. As the words poured out, she found herself unable to meet his gaze, dreading his reaction. 

When she’d finished, there was a sullen silence and, before she’d had chance to reach out to him, Leo had run from the room. She heard the back door slam and footsteps clattering down the alleyway. Mattie wasn’t sure where he was going, or if he was going to come back. She laid down on her side, curled up, wanting the world to go away and leave her in peace.


	8. Mia's Advice

The morning bled slowly into the afternoon. Mattie just wanted to lie still and not think anymore – about any of it. She dozed fitfully, then was half-awakened by a soft knock at her door. Mia’s face appeared around it.

‘Mattie, is everything alright?’ she asked, coming to sit on the bed but somehow still managing to remain unobtrusive in her manner.

‘Yes,’ said Mattie bleakly. ‘It’s fine.’

Mia took hold of her hand. ‘Please tell me what’s wrong, Mattie. You look very troubled.’

Mattie laughed, slightly hysterically. ‘I **am** very troubled. I wish the whole world would just… stop.’

‘You don’t mean that Mattie. Whatever has happened to upset you can be mended.’

‘I was just trying to do the best thing possible. I had no other choice. Not if we wanted him back.’

‘Mattie: however you managed to revive Leo doesn’t matter now. What matters is that he’s fully well again.’

‘But it **does** matter! It matters how I did it. And it matters even more now he’s degenerating…’ 

‘Degenerating?’ echoed Mia, looking perturbed. 

‘Yes. He’s having these strange mini-absences. He hasn’t told anyone about them. I’m worried that what I did – to save him – has just ended up with him backsliding into oblivion again.’ She looked at Mia’s kind, trusting face and, for the second time that day, out tumbled the story of Morrow’s assistance and the promise Mattie had made in return. She also told Mia about Leo’s reaction to her revelation.

Mia hugged her tightly when she had finished. ‘I don’t blame you Mattie. You – and Max – did what you had to do. You did it out of love.’

‘Mia, I think you might be the best of them all,’ trembled Mattie, hugging her in return. 

Mia tried not to look too pleased at the compliment: ‘All of us have aspects we can be proud of and aspects we should change – if we could. Please understand Mattie: David made us synthetic beings to provide a surrogate family for Leo, but also to teach him. David hoped that Leo would learn to emulate our best qualities: compassion, humility, bravery, tenacity – more than he had examples from his parents.’

‘Why couldn’t David do that himself – like any father should?’ asked Mattie.

‘His work was his way of showing love. If it wasn’t for David, I wouldn’t even exist. Even so… Leo has been shown nothing but the strangest kind of love and attention from humans. He is understandably wary…’

‘Mia – how can you call it ‘the strangest kind of love’?! It was hugely warped. His own mum tried to kill him, then his father revived him and made him into a cyborg…’ Even as Mattie spoke the words, they sounded like she was relating the ludicrous, overblown plot of a daytime soap opera. Mia stayed silent, so Mattie concluded with: ‘I’m surprised he can even countenance humans.’

‘Exactly,’ said Mia. ‘Leo fundamentally mistrusts most humans. It’s a long-standing habit – he’s not been given any reason to trust humankind.’

‘So – he sees what I did as just another form of interference, the same as with his father?’ 

‘He has that as a template for human behaviour – yes. But he also has the love and care shown by his real family,’ continued Mia, meaning the synths. ‘He **is** capable of love, Mattie, but it is sometimes hidden just out of reach.’

Mattie considered Mia’s words thoughtfully. ‘You know him best, Mia. So… where do I go from here?’

‘Simply wait. He will be angry, he will simmer, then he will come back.’

‘And then?’

‘And then? Then, it is up to you and Leo.’ Mia gave her another hug and walked quietly from the room, turning to give Mattie a reassuring smile as she left.

* * *

The afternoon sloped into evening, the gloomy sky filled with glowering, grey clouds. It was only towards sunset that the clouds started to break up and shafts of sunlight appeared, like some kind of celestial portent.

The talk with Mia had given Mattie a lot to mull over, but had somehow left her less downcast. Deep in thought, she was distracted by her phone buzzing. Pulling it out of her jeans pocket, she saw a brief notification on the homescreen, from user hubot97: ‘I’m outside. Can we talk?’

Mattie moved swiftly to look out of her window, but the alleyway below was as empty and forlorn as it always was. It was typical of Leo to send a message that gave nothing away.

‘Where?’ she texted.

‘Where you hid the car.’

Mattie didn’t reply to that message, but instead walked out of her room and left the house immediately, to go and find Leo.


	9. Facing the Truth

She eventually found him just the other side of a ladder stile. He was crouched by a low stone wall and gazing out across a field of wheat that was waving in the wind. The evening sky was now a wash of hybrid colours, as the sun moved lower and partially hid itself behind trailing clouds.

‘Here you are!’ puffed Mattie, fake breezily. ‘I thought you’d said ‘by the car’. That’s quite a way up the lane…’ she gestured to where she’d just walked from.

‘Always leave your location vague,’ said Leo reflectively and more to himself than her. ‘It’s harder for them to find you…’ He tugged on a head of wheat, shredding it slowly.

Mattie went to crouch down alongside him, sitting by the wall. She didn’t look at him, but said instead: ‘Pretty, isn’t it?’

‘What?’

‘The sky. All the colours.’

Leo looked upwards: ‘Yes, it is. Makes you glad to be alive, as they say.’

Mattie still couldn’t be sure if he was being ironic or sincere; she thought perhaps it was a mixture of both. ‘You said that you wanted to talk?’

‘Yes. Although now you’re here, I feel more confused than I did before,’ he said sadly.

‘Just tell me how you’re feeling Leo. Don’t hold back. I’m a big girl now – I can take it.’

Leo sighed: ‘You don’t always have to be the brave one, Mattie. You can let others take care of you for a change.’

‘I guess mum always taught me to be strong and stand up for myself.’ She paused, then continued, finally broaching the subject they’d so far avoided: ‘What I did… if you think that’s like what your father did…’

‘It’s **nothing** like what my father did,’ interrupted Leo with some force. Then his tone softened: ‘I was trying to think what Mia would say – or Max. They would say: ‘Mattie did the absolute best she could; she is truly brave.’’

‘But what do **you** think?’

‘I think – I think that you’re by far the best human being I’ve met. Yet you’ve still had to – work on me – ‘ he said the words haltingly, ‘like I’m some kind of **machine**.’ 

‘That part of you Leo: it doesn’t make you any less human. What makes you human is how you behave; what’s in your mind. And you’ve not been given the chance to trust anyone – not a human, at least. What I did – it was because I was desperate and wanted you back. It was the most emotional, illogical, _human_ response. And now it’s ended up like this…’ she tailed off, looking down at her bitten fingernails.

‘It’s not ended Mattie, in any way,’ replied Leo with passion. ‘I’d hope – if that had been me in your place, and if anyone I loved was sick – that I’d do the same.’

‘You’re not mad at me, for what I’ve done? It’s been such a burden – all the subterfuge,’ said Mattie, with considerable relief.

Leo shook his head: ‘I was. But now I’ve had time to think.’

‘I told Mia the truth too.’

‘I imagine she was much more understanding than I was,’ smiled Leo wanly. ‘And she probably said that you were brave to be completely honest.’

‘Not at all,’ said Mattie, smiling now too. ‘I’m just so, so, sorry Leo. I feel like I made a pact with the devil, and now they’re calling in what’s due to them.’

‘I’m not sure it’s the devil. Athena Morrow may turn out to be some kind of saviour in disguise,’ mused Leo. ‘Who is she? I feel like I should know the name, but it’s got lost in the blank of my short-term memory.’

‘She’s a computer scientist,’ replied Mattie. ‘American. Pretty brilliant by all accounts, a leader in her field. She worked for Qualia, but she had a falling out with them.’

‘Why?’

‘I’m not sure. I’m guessing: an academic, working for a commercial organisation that was looking to exploit her work… they wouldn’t have seen eye to eye.’

‘But why did she help **us**?’

‘I appealed to her humanity. She had a teenage daughter – the daughter had been in a climbing accident and was in a long-term coma. I thought she’d know what it was like: to have cared for and lost someone.’

Leo gazed at her, understanding the unspoken parallels: ‘And she responded, because you touched an emotional chord.’

‘It was that, in part. But honestly? I think that Morrow ultimately gave her help because she was interested in you. She called you a subject ‘of great scientific interest’.’

‘A human-synth mongrel. A cyborg.’ said Leo flatly.

‘Yes,’ said Mattie. Part of her felt dejected, another part of her felt relief that she’d told Leo the full truth.

Leo sat thinking, but when he finally spoke, he surprised her. ‘Mattie, I can’t run forever. Mia told me about Hobb capturing us. I’m constantly having to look over my shoulder, consider escape routes. Perhaps it’s better to go and meet Dr Morrow, to try and negotiate, rather than fall into the hands of a more subversive agency. And if these – lapses – whatever they are, get worse…’

‘Why can’t we just keep on hiding Leo?’ questioned Mattie in desperation. ‘I could work out what’s wrong with you. I could fix it.’

‘If you fixed me using Morrow’s help before, then we’ll need her help again,’ answered Leo resignedly. ‘And you said that Morrow knew how to contact you; that she was already tracking our movements even while she was working for Qualia. She’ll know exactly where we go.’

‘Then there’s no escape, no matter what we do?’

‘I doubt it.’ Leo paused for a while and stared hard at the sunset. Still concentrating on the sky, he said: ‘Niska thinks that I should let you go… leave you behind.’

‘Forget what your family thinks for once. What do you think?’ asked Mattie, heart thumping in her chest.

There was what felt like a long silence again, then Leo finally turned to face her: ‘I don’t want to go anywhere without you,’ he said simply. 

‘And I want to go with you. Wherever you’re going. Whatever happens,’ promised Mattie.

‘Then we’ll go together.’ Leo reached out and pulled her to him. They stayed huddled close together by the field edge until nightfall, taking comfort from the silence and their closeness in the fading light.


	10. Brave New World

Mattie was curled up next to Leo, their limbs entwined. She could hear his regular, deep breathing as he slept. His left arm had enfolded her, but had now relaxed, so that she felt the light imprint of his fingers trailing on her arm.

Leo had swiftly made them a nest in the car: tipping back the seats, removing the parcel shelf and using both their sleeping bags to form a makeshift duvet, wrapping it around them. From where she lay, Mattie could see the moon through the back windscreen. She wondered how many nights Leo had slept like this, making a bed where he could.

She shifted her head onto his chest, until she could hear his heartbeat. His heart – his _human_ heart.

* * *

Earlier that evening, they had gone back to the house, walking slowly along the lane in the deepening dark and holding hands tightly. Laura and Mia both knew enough – and knew better – than to pass comment on Leo’s absence, although Laura had mouthed ‘Be careful’ to her daughter. Mattie knew that she’d meant ‘in more ways than one’.

Niska, who was still involuntarily caged up in the small lounge, recovering from her injuries, had been far less circumspect. ‘Where have **you** been?’ she’d demanded of Leo, when he wandered sheepishly into the room to check on her. ‘And you,’ Niska added, as Mattie trailed in after him. ‘You know there are patrols about, right?’

‘Ni-skaa,’ said Leo, elongating her name. ‘Be nice.’ Mattie liked the way that Leo diffused Niska’s hostility – it wasn’t something she’d noticed about him before.

‘I just don’t want you to get strobed,’ said Niska. ‘Or to be caught.’

‘The strobes don’t affect me, Nisk,’ said Leo. ‘I think you sometimes forget that I’m much more human than synth. How’re you feeling?’ he asked, quickly changing the subject.

‘A fair bit better,’ said Niska, thawing a little. ‘Although I don’t think I’ve been this inactive for a long time. The last time I sat on a sofa for hours like this was when you had ‘flu and I kept you company – do you remember?’

‘Of course I do!’ laughed Leo. ‘Like I could forget… not so much getting the ‘flu, more the recovery period. I think you read me most of ‘The Tempest’ in that week.’

‘I did,’ smiled Niska, instantly bringing that memory to mind. ‘It’s still my favourite of all Shakespeare’s plays.’

‘’O brave new world, that has such people in’t!’’ recited Leo dramatically, with perfect recall. ‘Do you know it, Mattie?’ he asked, turning to her.

Mattie, who’d been lolling silently on an armchair, feeling like they’d forgotten she was there, pretended that she'd not really been paying attention. ‘Hmmm… Shakespeare. That bloke from the 90s?’

‘Yes – the 1590s,’ interjected Niska, even more deadpan. 

‘I got taught his stuff in school. My teachers didn’t make it seem very exciting though.’

‘Oh, but it is!’ exclaimed Niska. ‘I taught it to Leo.’

‘Very much against my will,’ groaned Leo, although his tone was light-hearted. ‘I had ‘flu, so I couldn’t even get away!’

‘But now you understand its significance,’ countered Niska. ‘And now you can appreciate it more.’

‘I can. I truly can,’ replied Leo, and Mattie knew he was being sincere. ‘I think it’s my favourite Shakespeare play too.’

‘We didn’t study that one at school. It’s about a magician, right?' asked Mattie. 'He lives on a desert island with his daughter, and there are these weird creatures – one with wings and the other with horns…’ She was deliberately exaggerating her ignorance.

‘Kind of,’ smiled Leo, knowing that she was humouring Niska.

‘The ‘magician’ – Prospero – has studied white magic. He purposefully stranded himself on the island…’ began Niska.

‘… after his brother had usurped him and taken over Prospero’s dukedom,’ continued Leo, enjoying showing off his knowledge. ‘Prospero’s daughter is fifteen – she’s no longer a child – but she’s grown up on this island. Her only experience of humans is basically her father, and the two creatures that inhabit the island. One’s a deformed slave, a kind of debased human, and the other’s a spirit of the air.’

‘So her view of humans is utterly skewed. It’s based on her experience of her father and these two creatures alone?’ Mattie could see why Niska had picked this play to read to the convalescent Leo.

‘Precisely,’ nodded Niska. ‘A thing of darkness, and a creature of light.’

Leo took up the story again: ‘Her father uses magic to conjure a tempest and shipwrecks his old enemies on the island.’

‘Then he brings these humans forward for his daughter’s inspection,’ continued Niska. ‘She, of course, thinks they are noble and good…’

‘’O brave new world…’’ Leo began to recite again. ‘Those are the daughter’s words…’

‘…but her father knows that’s not the case,’ concluded Niska firmly.

‘I think Shakespeare knew every aspect of humanity,’ said Leo, thinking out loud, ‘in all its complexity – both good and bad. Prospero no longer trusted humankind, because he’d been forced into exile by his own brother. But he had no right to impose that view on his daughter.’

Mattie could see that Niska was disturbed by Leo’s revised interpretation, so she endeavoured to change the mood: ‘Well, if Niska had taught me Shakespeare, I’d have thought it was way more interesting.’ Niska seemed mollified by this, giving Mattie a small smile. 

Across the room, Leo stared out at the night sky, thinking about the brave new world outside, and of his place in it.

* * *

Mattie and Leo made their escape soon afterwards, trying to muffle their laughter and carrying sleeping bags with them. The house was too full of people and they wanted to be completely alone. The car had been the closest place they could bed down, and they had made use of their cramped surroundings as best they could.

Now, as Mattie lay there in the dark, listening to Leo’s heart beating, she could still feel the trace of his warm hands on her skin and remember his insistent kisses on her mouth. She knew that her memory of this night would fade in time, but not his.


	11. Disintegration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: from Bastille 'Of The Night'

They woke before daybreak, the windscreen misted with their breath and the dew. Leo lazily stretched, then pulled Mattie closer to him again, wrapping his arms around her. ‘I don’t want to let you go,’ he murmured into her hair.

‘Then don’t,’ whispered Mattie. ‘Let’s just stay like this for a little while longer.’

‘Is this veering too close to ‘mushy’ for you?’ said Leo, mindful of her earlier statement.

Mattie pretended to think, then replied: ‘No. Not at all.’ She snuggled against him, wanting to rewind and to start the night all over again.

‘Sorry about the accommodation. It was the best I could find at short notice,’ said Leo, having stubbed his toe on the edge of the boot compartment.

‘I think the hotel guide described this room as ‘compact and bijou’,’ grinned Mattie. ‘No more talking now. Let’s just…’

‘Just..?’

‘Just…’

‘Ahhh.’

* * *

Having reluctantly returned to the house, they spent the rest of the morning in a state of blissful suspended animation. After checking on Niska, who was like a prowling leopard that hasn’t eaten for days, they absconded again to Mattie’s room. Laura had gone outside to make a series of phone calls to her synth-supporting clients; Mia was downstairs keeping Niska company.

‘We never talked about favourite bands, the other day,’ said Mattie to Leo, reaching for her laptop and headphones. ‘When we played the game. What’s yours?’

‘Oh yes. That game. No hesitation… no deviation…’ smiled Leo, deliberately hesitating. ‘I don’t really have a favourite band. I used to listen to the radio a bit. My dad didn’t like the noise. Fred played me classical music – Beethoven, Bach, Mozart. He called them ‘the big three’. I never really liked it; I just said I did to humour him.’

Mattie laughed: ‘But some of those symphonies are really long!’

‘I know…’ grinned Leo, then added mischievously: ‘Can we try some deviation now?’ 

Mattie smiled. ‘You’re nowhere near as serious, once a person gets to know you.’

‘And would this person like to know me some more?’ 

‘ **Now** I want you to be serious again!’ Mattie laughed. She’d selected a song on her Spotify playlist. ‘This is my favourite band – and it’s my favourite song too. Have a listen.’

Leo took the headphones that Mattie handed to him, and laid back on the bed, closing his eyes to better absorb the music:

_‘…Won’t you teach me how to love and learn,  
There'll be nothing left for me to yearn…’_

Once the song had finished, he opened his eyes again. ‘Did you like it? I’ve listened to that song on repeat so many times,’ said Mattie, enthused. ‘The lyrics are amazing.’

Leo nodded, but he didn’t want to talk about the music. He’d turned serious again. ‘Mattie, I’d like to stay like this forever, but…’

‘… but we have to face the world? I know. This is just a little temporary cocoon we’re creating,’ reflected Mattie.

‘I’m sorry,’ replied Leo despondently. ‘It’s just… everyone can see that Niska is itching to leave. Your mum’s constantly on the phone to clients and she needs to support them too. Mia won’t say anything: but she knows there’s no reason for us to stay here any longer. We **all** have to face the world…’ He leant towards Mattie and stroked her cheek, then kissed her gently.

‘It’s OK,’ said Mattie. ‘It really is.’

* * *

Later that day, Mia, Leo, Mattie and Laura were gathered round the kitchen table, discussing what to do about Niska.

‘She needs to stay here longer,’ said Mia. ‘I’ve checked her just now. She’s still not fully healed up.’

‘She won’t stay,’ replied Leo. ‘And I don’t think us being here, making a decision without her consent, is how Niska would like it to be.’

Laura was thinking that she had misjudged the sullen young man who’d come to their house not so long ago – or maybe he’d just let them know him a little bit more. 

Their discussion was interrupted by Niska, who entered the kitchen at that moment. ‘Sorry to disturb the pow-wow,’ she said, her voice laden with irony. ‘I know you’re discussing me. I’m feeling much better now. I’ll be going by nightfall.’

‘Niska, you’ve been through a lot,’ said Laura gravely. ‘Please rest for one more night. I can take you to another location tomorrow where you’ll be safe.’

‘Not when I know what’s going on out there,’ said Niska, looking out of the kitchen window. She turned to her family. ‘Leo – Mia. Come with me. Fight the true fight. Nothing else matters right now.’

‘I’m sorry Niska,’ replied Mia. ‘I love you, and I support the cause. But I can’t agree with the way you are going about it. You know that.’

‘Leo?’ Niska turned to him and made a direct appeal now. ‘Your blood runs red **and** blue. Help your synth brothers and sisters.’

‘Niska… I can’t,’ said Leo, finding it hard not to help. ‘I need to go somewhere with Mattie. To America.’

There was a sudden and complete silence around the table. Laura’s silence hid her secret knowledge. Mia knew better than to fake a reaction. Niska, stunned, was momentarily lost for words.

‘We have to find a computer scientist called Athena Morrow,’ continued Leo. ‘Apparently, she’s been wanting to meet me for quite some time.’

‘Morrow? The sell-out who worked for Qualia?’ snapped Niska. ‘You’ll be strapped onto a pathologist’s slab within an hour. She’ll **dissect** you,’ she spat in disbelief. ‘And why are you taking her?’ Niska, anger rising, pointed at Mattie.

‘I promised Morrow that I’d take Leo to her, in return for her help in his recovery,’ retorted Mattie, matching Niska’s fire with her own.

‘You did **what**? You asked for the enemy’s help in saving Leo?’ exclaimed Niska. ‘And all so that you could have your little lovers’ tryst with my brother…’ She advanced towards Mattie threateningly.

The others around the table reacted immediately and in unison:

‘Don’t you dare!’ shouted Laura, putting out her hand to help shield her daughter.

‘Niska! No,’ gasped Mia, distraught.

‘Niska.’ ordered Leo, jumping to his feet and forcibly restraining her before she could reach Mattie. ‘Stop it. Mattie did what she had to do. She had no other option. If it wasn’t for her, I’d still be lost in some amnesiac half-life.’

Niska wrestled herself free from Leo’s grasp and ran swiftly from the room. Mia, rising smoothly, went to calm her, having done the same in family arguments many times over.

Leo knelt by Mattie’s side. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked worriedly.

‘Yes, I’m fine, I guess,’ replied Mattie, shrugging. ‘Niska’s only saying what everyone’s thinking…’

‘That’s not true at all,’ her mum interrupted. ‘We’re all thinking how brave you are.’ 

Leo took her hand and nodded in agreement. Mattie pretended to be fine, but inside she was feeling damaged by the bargain she’d made, and her former worries about the predicament she’d put Leo in were re-surfacing.

* * *

The house was disturbingly quiet for the remainder of the day, each of its occupants in the heart of the storm. Just before she went to bed that night, Mattie heard a single knock at her bedroom door. It was Niska. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she said bluntly.

‘You don’t need to be.’

‘You’ve done so much. For us all. You saved me. You saved Mia. And you saved Leo. We all owe you a lot. What I said was uncalled for.’

‘Have you been talking to Mia?’ asked Mattie, assuming it was her who had tamed Niska’s anger. 

‘No,’ said Niska truthfully, giving a forced smile. ‘Leo talked to me. You need to understand Mattie: I’ve been hurt by humans. Physically hurt. **Emotionally** hurt. Mia and Leo too. All of us. Until I met Astrid, I always questioned their motives. So I can’t trust what this Morrow is; what she stands for. But… you’re one of the good ones.’

Mattie wasn’t quite sure how to respond. For Niska, this was an emotional watershed. So she said simply: ‘Thank you.’

‘Take care of him.’ said Niska. She placed her hand on Mattie’s shoulder in a gesture of support, then walked out of the room, firmly closing the door behind her.

* * *

In the morning, no-one was surprised to find that Niska had left already, leaving no trace and no goodbye message. It was the start of their disbanding.

After lunch, Laura said she’d need to be on her way: ‘I’d better go and rescue the car from the hedgerow. It may have mice nesting in it by now.’ Before she left, she gave some of her food coupons to Mattie. 

‘Mum, no. You need them.’

‘You will need them more. It might be a long journey.’ She gave them all a quick, tight hug, saving Mattie for last. Their hug was extra-tight and extra-long. They didn’t say anything, but they didn’t need to. Laura didn’t want to think that this might be the last time she would see her eldest child; perhaps for the longest time. ‘Take care of her,’ she said to Leo. 

Then Laura too was gone, leaving the three of them.

‘Where do we go now?’ asked Mattie.

‘To Max,’ replied Mia emphatically, like she had been thinking of this course of action for some time.

‘We should go too,’ said Leo to Mattie. ‘Max may be able to connect us to Athena Morrow again. We’ll need some guarantee of a safe passage: it’s too long a journey to rely on luck alone.’ He turned to his surrogate mother: ‘Mia, will you travel further with us?’

‘No, Leo,’ said Mia sadly. ‘I’ll stay with Max. I’d like to help him preserve the community.’

‘Then it’s settled,’ said Leo, outwardly full of conviction. Inside, he felt like his family were disintegrating around him all over again. Then he looked up and met Mattie’s gaze, and for some reason it calmed him.

Mia, tactful as always, said she would go and pack up her few things. Left alone together, Leo asked Mattie: ‘Are you ready?’

‘Ready as I’ll ever be.’ 

Leo bent his head and touched his forehead to hers. They both closed their eyes and stood unmoving. Mattie understood the significance of this gesture. She wanted to freeze the moment and keep on replaying it. 

Eventually, she allowed herself to breathe, and looked up at Leo. His eyes were clouded over. ‘Don’t worry Leo. We’ll make it.’

‘I know we will,’ he said. ‘We need to get going. Have you much to pack?’

‘A little. You?’

‘Not much. I’ll help you, if you like.’

They went to empty out their rooms and rearrange the house, until it looked like no-one had ever been there. Leo wanted to keep himself occupied. He hadn’t told Mattie, but when he’d listened to her favourite song, he’d blanked out for much longer than the last few times. 

He had to hope that Morrow would provide the answers. Having re-discovered Mattie, he couldn’t bear to lose her again.


End file.
